Office turned War Zone

I have never worked in an office setting till recently when i am posted into my new unit. I embraced the idea of getting to go home daily and deal with computer and paperwork instead of fighting a war but man i was so wrong. Turns out an office setting could actually be worse than being in a battlefield. The little minions (inclusive of myself) would either fill the role of the Assailants or the Victims and the Regulars would be known as the Weapons. Take a look below and see who fits the descriptions.

The Weapons

1. The Nuclear Bomb - a type of explosive weapon that yields destructive force. Capable to bring about mass destruction.

Advisory : Do NOT attempt to use, as you will probably wipe everyone out inclusive of yourself. It is SUICIDAL ! Period.

2. The Plasma Cannon - a heavy weapon that relies on plasma technology to deliver lethal energy balls. It employs a magnetic field to accelerate a ball of ionized gas towards a target mortally wounding the target.

Advisory : A clear disadvantage of the plasma cannon would be its weight and the cost, so far i have encountered none who was willing to pay the price and shoulder such burden. Good luck attempting to do so.

3. The Flamethrower - a mechanical device designed to project a long controllable stream of fire. The flamethrower is a potent weapon with great psychological impact upon unprepared victims, ideal for inflicting a particularly horrific death i.e. being burnt alive.

Advisory : Despite it being such a potent weapon, like the plasma cannon, it is a heavy weapon too, one must be prepared to "carry" the "cylinders" before being able to use the weapon. One must too check the situation esp. direction of the wind before firing as there are always chances of a backfire.

4. The Homing Missile - Once the seeker recognizes and locked on to it's target. The target would hardly stand any chance in escaping or throwing a decoy to fool the missiles.

Advisory - Best when fired in volleys for TOTAL ANNIHILATION.

5. The Sniper Rifle - any type of rifle fitted with a telescopic sight that is employed against human targets. Able to mortally wound targets at long range, achieving a "one shot, one kill" while remaining concealed. Excellent for finishing off others without them knowing what actually hit them while the rest would live in constant crippling fear.

Advisory : Concealment must be maxed out before attempting to use this weapon as you may be identified if it is not done well. Not good against those who are really good at creating smokescreen.

6. The M-16 Rifle - a very basic weapon that comes attached with a pretty useless bayonet for close range combat (due the known fact that once the rounds are all expended your bayonet could hardly do a thing) Despite its cons, it still possess some good points, it is almost always available, its light and it has killing potential and the rounds are not heavy as compared to the rest of the weapons.

Advisory : As we all know, the M-16 is very prone to IA (military term = weapon getting jammed) in times of need and a very very low possibility of a chamber explosion. So regular maintenance would prevent you from landing in such situations.

I hope the list above would help you in either selecting or protecting yourself against it. As mentioned by a Greek Playwright, Euripides "The tongue is mightier than the blade." Do pick your "weapons" wisely.